The curious case of the anti-piracy announcement

If you’ve ever bought a movie on dvd, you must have seen the announcement that downloading movies is bad. Very bad. We’re even funding terrorism by grabbing a free copy of a blockbuster. Because nothing says the truth more than a statement that isn’t in the least exaggerated. Anyway, quite often you can’t even fast forward these messages which is quite annoying: in an earlier post we mentioned that they become so annoying it’s even tempting to grab an illegal copy of a movie off the internet because that allows you to go straight to the movie. Because, again, nothing says the truth more than an exaggerated statement.
And anyway, aren’t these announcements barking up the wrong tree? Who is being targetted here? The people who actually made the effort to buy a dvd. Wouldn’t a message applauding these people for their efforts be more welcome, more to the point and, why not, shorter?

But that is only the introduction. In the Netherlands a composer was asked to make some background music for an anti-piracy campaign for a film festival. The man was nicely paid by the anti-piracy organisation. Case closed. Ermm, no… some time later the man inserted a dvd into his player and, lo and behold, there was the same message… including his tune. As Private Eye would say: shurely shome mishtake?

The composer contacted the organisation. After all, didn’t his contract specify he was the tune’s owner for national and international territories? Plus, he had composed the tune: surely they’d forgotten he was the rightful owner of the track, even if they used a message for a film festival on another medium… ermm no, the Dutch anti-piracy organisation felt it was their message and therefore their plaything.

So the composer looked for a lawyer to take up this curious case. Not only that, a tv network heard about the story and jumped on it as well. A conversation between the lawyer and one of the anti-piracy guys was recorded and included a most memorable moment: this guy claimed that he was known for his pitbull attitude and he would make sure the composer would be paid after all. Of course, sinking your teeth into something costs some money and the man suggested a nice little fee of one third of the money would go to him for his effort and the composer could get the rest. And after all, two thirds of a sum is still better than nothing, eh?

TV networks tend to have the time to broadcast material and the interview was shown on the Dutch telly (discerning enthusiasts could hear the full interview on the network’s site). The anti-piracy movement promptly decided it was best for the man to stay low and removed him from his current job. Several weeks later, the composer got a wonderful offer: he would be paid the royalties for each dvd on which his tune was present as long as these were Dutch dvds (sometimes a dvd is published in several countries with a various display of subtitles – for those dvds the composer couldn’t be paid, of course, even if the music was featured there) and on the condition that he wouldn’t contact the press anymore. The composer did not agree to these conditions. For the record, we would like to point out that the Dutch anti-piracy organisation clearly states that their guy didn’t do anything wrong and that the network took certain words out of context.

Nevertheless, apparently a composer might not get paid for his work for an anti-piracy organisation (and probably not for any international releases). It just seems like a most curious case.

At least they’re not funding terrorism…

(P.S. If you understand Dutch, a short summary of the case can be watched here. It’s part of the year in review episode (16 Dec) as of 11:45 and is featured in several earlier episodes.)

Alex Cox “introduces” Jabberwocky (Moviedrome)

Every now and then I do a search on Moviedrome, to see if any new (read: unearthed) introductions have popped up and it looks like there’s a handful of new ones. High time then to update my Moviedrome page then.

One of the more peculiar introductions by Alex Cox was the one for Jabberwocky. It’s not as much a movie introduction as it’s… no, that would be telling.

Who said Moviedrome wasn’t cult?

Medium

It’s the Christmas of slashed budgets, or so it seems. Not much spectacular coming up for the yuletide season. Meanwhile I’m also busy as hell trying to fit two jobs and two projects into one life. Part of me feels ill, the other part very much alive. The stack of unwatched DVDs and VHS tapes remains spectularly impressive. About the only thing I can bear these days is the wonderful Danish show The Killing. More on that later, still on indefinite hiatus after all.

BBC2 used to treat us to seasons of films for the holiday season. I fondly remember the 50s sci-fi series ages ago, but even last year was nice with a handful of film noirs. All but one I’d seen, but that didn’t stop me from watching them again.
This year BBC2 manages to be the only station to interest me as well as disappoint me. Apart from a Christmas special of Doctor Who and the grand finale of Only Connect on BBC4, there’s not a lot of programmes I’m looking forward to. Yes, Have I Got News for You and Screenwipe will return for a festive treat, but no seasons of noir or anything?

Well, there is something… throughout the festive weeks BBC2 is showing an entire season of Medium. Season two, to be precise. Not having watched the first season but having heard good stuff, I tried my best to grasp what was going on during “previously on Medium” introduction, the first scene of the season treated me to a family dialogue on French toast.

During this wonderful dialogue, I was told french fries are called so because the original recipe was invented in France. Erm… not really…

What sort of nonsense is broadcast on our tellies these days? I’m not staying up for that. Bring back Invasion of the Saucer Men and Terror from the Year 5000.

ARTE Trash salutes Ed Wood in November

Nothing brings us greater pleasure than the return of Arte Trash. Thursday nights around 1am pan-European viewers can watch the lowest of the lowest, the sickest of the sickest and the weirdest or the weirdest. Here’s what’s coming up…

OCTOBER (continued)

Oct 28: Baixio das Bestias
A man falls in love with a teenage girl, who is exploited by her own grandfather, who sometimes takes her to a gas station to show her naked to whomever pays him some money.

NOVEMBER

November is Ed Wood month. Hailed as the worst director ever (though, honestly, here at DV we’ve seen a lot of worse movies), Arte Trash is keen on showing you if Wood deserves this reputation or not. Three of his movies, starting with his most notorious one, will be aired on Thursday nights. (The following comments and summaries come from Amazon.)

Nov 4: Plan 9 From Outer Space
Plan 9 is the story of space aliens who try to conquer the Earth through resurrection of the dead. Psychic Criswell narrates (“Future events such as these will affect you in the future!”) as police rush through the cemetery, occasionally clipping the cardboard tombstones in their zeal to find the source of the mysterious goings-on. More than just a bad film, Plan 9 is something of a one- stop clearinghouse for poor cinematic techniques: The time shifts whimsically from midnight to afternoon sun, Tor Johnson flails desperately in an attempt to rise from his coffin, and flying saucers zoom past on clearly visible strings. Fading star Bela Lugosi tragically died during filming, but such a small hurdle could not stop writer-producer-director Ed Wood. Lugosi is ingeniously replaced with a man who holds a cape across his face and might as well have “NOT BELA LUGOSI” stamped on his forehead.

Nov 11: Bride of the Monster
Bela Lugosi plays Dr. Vornoff, a mad scientist working on a race of superbeings in his lab. His process of clamping a metal lampshade onto the heads of his subjects and zapping them with radiation usually kills them, but the monstrous Lobo (Tor Johnson) survives and becomes Vornoff’s assistant. Vornoff’s plans go awry, though, when he tries to get a nosy reporter to mate with Lobo and winds up being given the atom treatment himself. Suffice it to say that there’s a grappling match between Vornoff and Lobo until the evil doctor falls into a pit and wrestles a rubber octopus. Stock footage of lightning and an atomic explosion round things out for a great non sequitur of an ending.

Nov 18: Glen or Glenda?
Often mentioned as a contender for the title of Worst Movie Ever Made, Glen or Glenda? (a.k.a. I Changed My Sex, a.k.a. I Led Two Lives, a.k.a. He or She) remains Ed Wood’s weirdest film–and, for the director of Plan 9 from Outer Space, that’s saying something. Yet Glen or Glenda? goes way beyond camp, into some unique zone of demented personal expression, an essay/collage/autobiography that is no less fascinating just because it comes from a second-rate mind. Wood himself, under the pseudonym Daniel Davis, plays a transvestite struggling to reveal his tendencies to his wife (the toneless Dolores Fuller, Wood’s missus in real life). Mixed in with this exploitation story is a ton of irrelevant stock footage, as well as disconnected glimpses of Béla Lugosi bellowing at the audience; Lugosi’s dialogue is a tapestry of non sequiturs and portentous warnings.

Gimme Gimme Octopus

Gimme Gimme Octopus (a rough translation of Kure Kure Takora) was a Japanese kids show from the 70s. There’s a lot of gratuitous violence and bullying in almost every episode. Themes include the octopus getting high on incense, stealing other’s property, locking up the sheriff and in this particular episode, our favourite octopus… takes over the country and re-installs slavery.

Now you see it, now you don’t… Trash!

What on earth has been happening to Arte Trash? Without any information it’s been jumping from day to day, on different slots to boost. Here’s an update from August onwards.

AUGUST

Fri 6: Alucarda
A young girl’s arrival at a convent after the death of her parents marks the beginning of a series of events that unleash an evil presence on the girl and her mysterious new friend, an enigmatic figure known as Alucarda. Demonic possession, Satan worship, and vampirism follows.

Fri 13: Bubba Ho-Tep
Elvis and JFK, both alive and in nursing homes, fight for the souls of their fellow residents as they battle an ancient Egyptian Mummy.

Thu 19: Sympathy for the Devil
Jean-Luc Godard films the Rolling Stones. Part of the “Summer of the 60s” season.

Thu 26: Les Idoles
Part of the “Summer of the 60s” season. Gigi la folle, the wrongly innocent sweet blonde played by Bulle Ogier, was inspired by pop singer France Gall, whereas Charlie le surineur, played by a wild Pierre Clémenti, is more or less Johnny Hallyday: a supposed natural-born rebel, in fact a totally artificial marketing produce. Jean-Pierre Kalfon, the last of the idols, plays a dishevelled and mystic palm reader turned into a frantic singer, a compromise between the Beatles under their indian period and a bunch of psychedelic bands such as they existed then. The three of them dance and sing all along like roaring lions, giving a very impressive performance of raw pop power. The portrait director Marc’o gives of the French youth on the eve of May 1968 is of a world seething in unrest, reading supposed rebellion orders on the lips of their teen idols. (adapted from an IMDb review)

SEPTEMBER

Fri 3: Lions Love
Agnes Varda directed this fascinating cinema verte like fictional film in 1969. The film traces Gerome Ragnai and James Rado (the composers of HAIR) and Andy Warhol actress Viva as they try to break into the Hollywood lifestyle. American feminist icon filmmaker Shirley Clarke is featured in an extended role, also playing a fictionalized version of herself. Clarke is attempting to get studio financing for a film project that seems to be consciously satirizing the struggles Varda must have had in getting this film made. This film is funny, beautifully shot and imaginatively edited. It is a must see for fans of Varda and the French New Wave. (taken from the IMDb)

Thu 9: This Filthy Earth
The tragic story of two sisters whose lives are disrupted by two men. Amidst a landscape of rural hardship and a community consumed with superstition, events unfurl which threaten their sibling bond.
According to Arte, Andrew Kötting places himself next to Lars von Trier, John Boorman and Pasolini with his debut movie. Poetic and powerful trash.

Thu 16: Tokyo Drifter
In this free-jazz gangster film, reformed killer “Phoenix” Tetsu drifts around Japan, awaiting his own execution until he’s called back to Tokyo to help battle a rival gang. Seijun Suzuki’s “barrage of aestheticised violence, visual gags, [and] mind-warping color effects” got him in more trouble with Nikkatsu studio heads, who had ordered him to “play it straight this time.” Instead he gave them equal parts Russ Meyer, Samuel Fuller, and Nagisa Oshima.

Thu 23: Calamari Union
Finnish film Calamari Union by Aki Kaurismäki is not at all a motion picture with a defined setting, but more of a visual experience with surreal touches which must be seen many times to feel the plight of hapless rock musicians in an urban milieu. The band exists of 14 people, 13 of which are called Frank.

Thu 30: Les Lèvres Rouges
Watch out: this starts at the later hour of 01:10! But try and stay awake for this Belgian cult classic by director Harry Kümel. You may know this film under its English title, Daughters of Darkness.
A newlywed couple are passing through a vacation resort. Their paths cross with a mysterious, strikingly beautiful countess and her aide.

OCTOBER

Oct 7: Macuaima

Based on the 1928 book by Mário de Andrade, the modern-day parable follows the misadventures of a black man who is miraculously born to an old woman, who is supposed to be of the indigenous peoples of Brasil, in the jungles of the Amazon. Though born fully-grown, he has the heart of a playful child. After the death of his mother, he comes face to face with a spring that turns him white. With that change, he and his two brothers move to Rio de Janeiro, but are interrogated by street terrorists upon their arrival.
ARTE says: “A radical and excentric take on a Brazilian classic novel.”

No ARTE Trash on Oct 14, but on October 21 a German comedy, Johnny Flash, is scheduled.
Experimental filmmaker Werner Nekes describes in this, his first comedy, the extraordinary career of the pop king of the Ruhr, “Johnny Flash”. This obstinate offspring of the Potzkothen family succeeds in becoming, thanks to the unflagging support of his mother, his manager and „that girl at Music Satellite“ a celebrated pop star. In the final sequence of this satire on show business and mother-son-love, Johnny and his mama wander off into an uncertain horizon, just as Charlie Chaplin once did at the end of his films …

Dead Like Me

Today we pay tribute to one of the most underrated shows of the last decade. Dead Like Me lasted 29 episodes, spread over two seasons, but then the network (Showtime) pulled the plug. The final episode was shown on Halloween night 2004. Five years later, the fans’ calls to tie the loose plot knots were answered in a straight-to-dvd movie, Dead Like Me: Life After Death. Not a bad title for a series about the grim afterlife of Georgia Lass.

Georgia (Ellen Muth) is 18 years old and a school drop-out. Her mother has had it with her lazy child and kicks her out of bed for her first day of work. It’s a horrible filing job, the result of Georgia’s sarcasm against Dolores Herbig of the temp office. That’s not the worst part of the job… the lunch hour only lasts 35 minutes and during her lunch break Georgia is hit by a toilet seat that came loose off the space station MIR. Georgia is instantly killed, but that’s not the end of her. It turns out there’s such a thing as Grim Reapers, whose job it is to touch those about to die. The gang of four is led by Rube (Mandy Patinkin), the calm leader who insists the Reapers have breakfast as Der Waffle House. This is where everyone gets their post-it notes, containing the name of the nearly deceased, the place and estimated time of death.
However, it’s not the Reapers’ job to kill people. This is caused by accidents and occasionally these accidents are helped by Gravelings, a kind of monster that can only be seen by the Reapers. Reapers can be seen by the living, but they can’t be recognised. To the living, a Reaper looks different than they used to do. Which is why Rube often tells Georgia not to hang around her parents’ house.

Georgia’s parents are Joy (much like the character in Drop The Dead Donkey an ill-chosen name as Joy is bitter and sarcastic), Clancy (a teacher who seems to have been sleeping with one of his students) and Georgia’s younger sister, Reggie (Britt McKillip). In her first scene, Reggie is represented by a floating pair of glasses. As far as Georgia was concerned, her sister might as well have been invisible. Something she regrets in her afterlife: not only did Reggie look up to her older sister, Georgia’s death causes Reggie to become a troubled kid with weird hobbies and more sarcasm and bitterness than is good for an eleven-year-old. Clancy’s adultery causes Joy (Cynthia Stevenson) to become even more sarcastic towards her husband and overprotective to Reggie. Who’s absolutely not amused. In fact, what keeps Reggie sane (at least to herself) is the belief that, albeit deceased, Georgia is still hanging around. She may not be wrong there: Undead George even shows up at Joy’s yard sale, where she hopes to sell George’s stuff. Which is painful in many ways: it makes George talk to her mum (who doesn’t recognise her) and Reggie upset because she felt a need to cling to her sister’s stuff.

This scene very much embodies the spirit of Dead Like Me, it’s a dark comedy with a lot of tragedy. There isn’t a main character that doesn’t have a couple of layers. Rube is a bit of an enigma, equally to the viewers as to the other Reapers. Reapers don’t age, by the way. Rube still looks the same as he did in the 1920s, when he died. Reapers keep their function till they’ve touched enough nearly dead. Which means that George will have to stay eighteen for the rest of her afterlife. Something she isn’t too happy with, a sign the writers actually remembered how most 18-year-olds felt.

I have mentioned the other Reapers, so it’s only fair to introduce them. You’ve heard of Rube and George, then there’s Roxy (Jasmine Guy) who makes a living writing parking tickets and hopes everyone will swallow her rock-hard façade. Mason (Callum Blue) died in the 1960s during a drug experiment and has been testing every kind of drugs every since. It’s not as if anything can kill him… The most familiar looking Reaper will be Betty, who’s played by Rebecca Gayheart, the daring woman George looks up to. Not for too long… after a couple of episodes Betty grabs a chance to leave the Reapers and follow the Big Lights (I’m trying to make it sound as unreligious as the show managed to portray it). Taking over from Betty is Daisy Adair (Laura Harris), former extra in the movies, who died during the making of Gone with the Wind.
As mentioned above, Roxy has a job and she isn’t the only one. Rube advises Georgia to get a job as well. Which is why Georgia Lass creates Millie, who gets a job as the helper of… Delores Herbig of the temp agency Happy Time. Of all the jobs in the world… actually, Millie has a much better relationship with Delores than Georgia ever had.

The first season of Dead Like Me, fourteen episodes including a feature-length pilot episode, is remarkably strong. There’s only one weak episode, which mainly exists of flashbacks and a bit of filler material to make it look like an episode, but overall it’s a very strong series. I’ve mentioned before that the show is also funny and most of that is in a brainy sort of way. But there’s also the recurring pleasure of certain deaths, engineered by the Gravelings, which look like the better moments from the Final Destination movies. Not that every death is funny, one of Georgia’s first death is a young girl, played by Jodelle Ferland (Tideland, Silent Hill). We’ve once said that Jodelle had a nose to end up in the better horror movies. Looks like the little girl was also a guest actress in one of the better series of the noughties. Overall the show may have earned eight nominations (including two Emmys), but it never won an award and you’ll have a tough time finding people who’ve seen the show.

Which is a bitter shame. Try and find the show on DVD and have a look at the show’s opening credits:

German week: Deadlock

Forget about the “spaghetti western” (Ennio Morricone never liked the term anyway), no European country loves western more than Germany. Pretty odd for a country that never really made westerns… what Germany did do was reinventing stories of existing westerns. Because of the success of Django, the Germans were quick to rename every Italian western “Django”, whether a character called Django was present or not.
The most interesting film here is Preparati la bara, a western starring Terence Hill. This film is released in Germany under two titles: one is an intact version which is called Django und die Bande der Gehenkten, the other version is cut to pieces and seems to have been made later. By this time, Hill had become famous for the movies in which he co-starred with Bud Spencer,which is why Hill’s character occasionally wonders where “the fat one” would be hanging out. Spencer, you may have guessed, had nothing to do with this film. Preparati la bara was re-edited, not only cutting the violence out but also adding extra comedy bits. And so the Germans managed to make two new films out of existing footage…watch Django und die Bande der Gehenkten by all means, but if you ever spot Joe, der Galgenvogel stay away from this re-edited monstrosity.

So did the Germans make any westerns themselves? Hardly any. The best example is the film adaptations of the Karl May novels, starring cowboy hero Old Shatterhand and his Indian pal Winnetou. Aimed at a young audience, the films were adventure films rather than westerns, just like you’d probably never answer Bonanza if someone would ask you “Name a typical western”. The film adaptations were made by a name that has popped up before: Harald Reinl.

A more typical (albeit modern) western has been made in Germany, even though a lot of people haven’t heard of it. Time for DV to change that then… Deadlock was made in 1970 by Roland Klick. A quick IMDb search will show you Klink isn’t very well known and a lot of his films feature violence. Deadlock has plenty of that too.

It is a weird little film, it starts with a gangster staggering through the desert’s heat, before falling over… exhaustion, we can only guess. A shabby guy drives past, notices the guy and his suitcase. He opens the suitcase, notices it’s brimful of money and does the only decent thing: he takes a rock to crush the guy’s skull. But just as he’s about to hit the gangster, the gangster’s body starts sliding down the mountain. Afraid to spill any extra effort and pleased by the fact the gangster didn’t even react to his body’s sliding down a hill, the shabby guy grabs the suitcase and drives off. Remorse eventually hits him, but not in the form Samaritans would like to hear: he drives back to the gangster, this time with a better weapon, only to find the body is gone. The very next moment he notices there’s a gun pointed towards himself… looks like the gangster wasn’t so dead after all.

What follows is very much a typical western. Sure the horses have been traded in for trucks, but the essential flow of a western is still there. Some settings even reminded me of Django, that most essential western. The characters even have typical western names…our shabby protagonist is Charles Dump, nicknamed “The Rat’. There’s the “Old Killer”, the “Young Killer” (named Kid), the “Girl” and her mother (whose name I won’t mention here, something to do with being raised to have manners etc.).

Mascha Rabben, as “The Girl”, may have gotten a less excitng part (essentially it’s sois belle et tais-toi), but she gives a lasting performance. She’s probably not very known. The only names you may have heard of before are Mario Adorf (as Charles Dump) and Anthony Dawson (as the Old Killer).

Will the Old Killer manage to track down his Kid companion? Will there be bloodshed? Will the Girl’s looks save her? How many people will leave Deadlock alive? All these are questions I won’t answer. I’ve already told you of that rarest of things, a real German western. A Sauerkraut western, if you please.

Deadlock is out on DVD in Germany. The music is once again by Can and adds a lot of extra mystery. It may even be the best reason to watch the film for. Maybe that’s why the film was also dubbed “psychedelic western” and why Jodorowsky likes it so much. The film was recorded in English, so there’s no need to take that German-English dictionary out of your bookshelves if you feel like watching it. The DVD contains an interview with and a documentary about director Klick (as well as an audio commentary by the man), but what is even more special is “Die Chance”, a documentary about Klick’s national search for a girl to play the role of Jessy (The Girl). It’s not often you get to see such an extra for a movie made in 1970.

I leave you with the trailer, but watch out as it contains some spoilers. Ardent westerns fans shouldn’t be too surprised though. Still, if you just want to get a feel of the film, watch only the first two minutes of the trailer.

P.S. And let’s end with some schlager music, it wouldn’t be German week without it. Here’s Gitte telling us about her love for the only kind of man she’s attracted to: “Ich will ‘nen Cowboy als Mann”.

Jude Law fights back and shoots himself in the foot

Two weeks ago the Avenue posted part of a Newswipe episode, where journalist Marina Hyde tackled celebrities who were backing good causes. Now Jude fights back. Fast forward six and a half minutes and that’s when it starts.

Now we’re not saying that Jude Law isn’t doing something good, but…

- the Newswipe clip did make Jude look like a bit of a tit. Or a bad actor. “Ooh, when are you going? July? Hmm, I’m free as well.” Send an Oscar.
- Secondly and most importantly… he may not have remembered the journalist’s name (adding “Thank God”), but when he’s reminded of her name, he spits on the ground. Always a sign of bad manners.
- … and then he adds he’s doing all the great work and how this journalist “with her fat arse” shouldn’t dare to be critical of him and ‘Angie’ Jolie, who are hard-working celebrities and who are making the world a better place. Not only does he miss the entire point of Marina Hyde’s views in her book (she is critical of the celebs who are doing it to improve their image, but she’s even more critical of the news media, who have made it thus that things are only news-worthy when Jude Law pops up), we’re not also sure Ms Hyde has a fat bottom. Anyway, what we are sure about is that Marina Hyde doesn’t only write about celebrities, she also writes about sports and politics.

But then again, that is the difference between looking something up (like we do) and making rude remarks about people with different opinions. Then again, it does take more time to google someone (or, heaven forbid, read a book) than it does to spit on the ground. But that is why Jude Law is an asshole.

(interview by Movies.ie)

Gib Gas, Ich Will Spass!

When the cast of a movie is mentioned only by their first names, it can only mean two things: either you’re watching a porn movie or a film with musicians. And a title like “Give gas, I want fun” doesn’t exactly help clarifying which of the two you’re watching. Which may explain why the English title of this film is Hanging Out. Which… come to think of it… may also be a sexual reference.

But no, dirty mind, Gib gas, ich will Spass is not smut, but a music film with Markus and Nena. The former a highly successful pop star, the latter an unknown pop star. And now, a quarter of a century later, the roles seem to be reversed. Because there’s a lot of chance you know Nena from her global hit “99 Luftballons” (a.k.a. 99 Red Balloons), but who is Markus? Think of Patrick Wolf who is accidently teleported to the 1980s and – these teleportations never go great, just watch The Fly – discovers his poppiest of sounds. Mind you, this film was made in 1983, when Germany found its new voice and answer to punk and new wave by inventing the Neue Deutsche Welle (literally New German Wave). Back in 1982, “Ich Will Spass” by Markus might have been refreshing rather than annoying. Make up your own mind because this is Markus’s biggest hit and the title track of the film (as performed in a music show where the average age of the viewer was 56):

So he wants fun, our Markus. And he’ll get it in this film as he’s the new boy in school, short trousers but a fast bike. Because rebellion, like a mullet, doesn’t grow in one day. Markus, who plays Robby, has the hots for Tina, as portrayed by Nena. Tina finds Robby silly rather than sexy and has more sexual feelings for Tino, who works full time on a fair and has his own convertible. And a mullet. And – what would romance be without language? – because Tino and Tina sounds cool.Tina convinces Tino to run off together, but when she can’t make it to the rendez-vous spot in time, Tino drives off with another chick. Her suitcase already packed and hoping to see Tino again, Tina convinces Robby to drive away together. Robby, naive enough to think Tina loves him as much as he loves her, gladly accepts. Tina’s feelings towards Tino are addressed in one of Nena’s biggest hits Nur geträumt: “Ich hab’ heute nichts versäumt, denn ich hab’ nur vor dir geträumt” (I haven’t wasted today, because I only dreamt of you). Don’t believe me, here’s the clip from the English dubbed version of the film:

And, of course, the search for Tino will ultimately end in Tina losing her heart to Robby. Seems like a sugar sweet teen flick, how can this be of any value to the cult-loving readership of DV? Well, there are several reasons: no matter how bad this film can be – and believe me, this will be a guilty pleasure – it’s nowhere as embarrassing as Crossroads or most of Madonna‘s output. The director is Wolfgang Büld, who had previously made a couple of documentaries about punk and reggae. Büld had noticed the Neue Deutsche Welle movement was becoming more mainstream and felt like pushing the genre by making a teen flick with the movement’s protagonists in several of the roles. Apart from Markus and newcomer Nena in the leads the film also included a cameo by the band Extrabreit.
Nevertheless, the film is pretty weak in as much as the ‘story’ is flimsy (it’s basically Robby and Tina driving after Tina’s love interest you couldn’t care about) and the jokes are either silly or horrible: one running gag is Tina’s classmate, seen in the clip above, who is always eating meat products. It’s not that I explained it badly, that’s what he does: he mainly boasts about how much he loves eating sausages and how many he can eat. I’ll pause briefly, so you can chuckle at this hilarious concept. A boy who eats fried meat… utter and utter genius! Equally hilarious is having older actor Karl Dall play a handful of tiny roles, in an attempt to make the viewer chuckle “Look, it’s Karl again, ha-ha!” And of course it doesn’t help that it’s a movie that’s mainly made to push the music. In the following clip, Robby and Tina have made it to the airport, just too late to catch Tino. Tina manages to make contact with him and they agree to meet each other in Venice. After this, Nena has to link the fluttering Tina running back to Robby to one of her songs (Ganz oben). The result, complete with a hilarious drunk pilot, looks like this:

Which makes it all the more surprising to see Robby and Tina end up in Venice. While arguing, Robby is abducted by a group of nymphomaniacs (I wish I was making this up) and Tina chases the gondola on foot, with Nena’s Tanz auf dem Vulkan as soundtrack to the scene. But watch at (or fast forward to) 2:47 to spot a surprising cameo…

Admit that this is a cameo you wouldn’t have expected in such a bubblegum movie. Ultimately, Carla Rhode of Der Tagesspiegel reviewed the film best: “I would have like to have fun too, but Nena, Markus and director Wolfgang Büld left me unsatisfied. What did the film attempt to be? A story about runaways, a musical or was it just a handful of uninspired scenes chucked together to fill the voids between songs by Nena and Markus?” Then again, I told you this would a guilty pleasure and it’s up to you whether a couple of Nena songs, Nena’s nude back and a reference to Don’t Look Now are enough to watch a corny movie for 85 minutes. Not that the film pretended to be Goethe. After all, the title is Gib Gas, Ich Will Spass.

3/10

P.S. Büld must’ve liked the experience because, two years later, he made Der Formel Eins Film, an equally corny film promoting Formel Eins (the German Top of The Pops) and featuring a.o. Falco (Jeanny, Rock me Amadeus, …)