Supersonic Man

Supersonic in action

It’s not a bird, it’s not a plane, it may be wooden, it’s the Spanish Superman ripoff Supersonic Man and it’s directed by Juan Piquer Simon (Slugs, Los Nuevos Extraterrestres).

Juan Piquer Simon used to be a postman (thus linking him to Fabrizio de Angelis, ex-postman and director of “Killer Crocodile“), but quit his job to step into the movie business. If his mail delivery was as excellent as his knowledge of movie making, I wouldn’t send a letter to Spain.

“Supersonic Man” is so obviously a Superman rip-off that I’m almost ashamed to mention it. Still, shame is something Piquer Simon didn’t seem to have. Granted, the man has lots of imagination, but so has a toddler who draws three lines on a piece of paper and says it’s a car. Supersonic (for that is his name) is sleeping in a spaceship when an intergalactic voice tells him an evil mastermind wants to kidnap a professor so he, the evil mastermind, can rule over the world. The evil mastermind is none other than Cameron Mitchell, actor in a handful of classics and the lead in over 150 B- to D-movies. In this production he’s the biggest (read: only) star.

Supersonic doesn’t take the train, like any superhero he can fly. Well, flying… it does look like the actor is busy pretending to swim in the air. Go lie on a bench and move your body first 10° to the left and then 20° to the right. Keep doing that, add a blue screen and you too can fly.
To make us believe the movie was shot in the US, Supersonic often flies in the air with parts of New York in the background. Unfortunately, that’s the only reason these scenes were made, so basically you’re just watching a man in a silly suit pretending he can fly while you’re watching a tourist promo video of New York.

Supersonic Man, Man of WoodSupersonic’s suit may give you a few chuckles, but what really got me rolling on the floor is the scene where the professor’s daughter (Patricia) is chased by gangsters.
Just when it looks like her car is going to hit a bulldozer, Supersonic lifts it up with one hand.
Though, why a bulldozer is standing in the middle of a forest road beats me, just as it’s quite fascinating to see the bulldozer is actually made of wood. The crooks try to avoid hitting the bulldozer, drive down a hill and for some reason that should explain why their car explodes.

The bulldozer scene is featured quite early in the movie, so it’s best to stay on the floor.
Don’t crawl back into your couch as an avalanche of bad scenes is still coming your way: bad special effects (toy helicopters anyone?), cheesy humour and even more bad special effects (toy houses?).
Oh, have I already mentioned that the plot is hard to follow and some plot lines commence but neverlead to anything? Frankly, “Mulholland Drive” is easier to follow.

Fear the robot!

To make things even worse, this Spanish action movie (let’s use that phrase lightly) is dubbed in university English.
When the giant robot bursts into the professor’s lab to kidnap him, the professor states: “What kind of tomfoolery is this?” One has to admire those academics, if not for their vocabulary, then for the fact that he doesn’t start laughing when the giant and fierce (and frankly slow) robot appears.

Juan Piquer Simon is sometimes compared to Ed Wood, but at least Wood had a vision (a vision hindered by a budget, but still a vision).
“Supersonic Man” however is a work that makes “Killer Crocodile” look like a masterpiece. Which in its own right is quite special.

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